host.match_monitor.quotes

  1"""Motivational quotes from sci-fi, fantasy, and zombie/post-apocalyptic sources."""
  2
  3import random
  4
  5QUOTES = [
  6    # Sci-fi
  7    ("The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.",
  8     "Mr. Spock — Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"),
  9    ("Do. Or do not. There is no try.",
 10     "Yoda — The Empire Strikes Back"),
 11    ("I find your lack of faith disturbing.",
 12     "Darth Vader — Star Wars: A New Hope"),
 13    ("Fear is the mind-killer.",
 14     "Frank Herbert — Dune"),
 15    ("I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that "
 16     "brings total obliteration.",
 17     "Paul Atreides — Dune"),
 18    ("A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals.",
 19     "Agent K — Men in Black"),
 20    ("In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people "
 21     "very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.",
 22     "Douglas Adams — The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"),
 23    ("Don't Panic.",
 24     "Douglas Adams — The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"),
 25    ("So long, and thanks for all the fish.",
 26     "Douglas Adams — The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"),
 27    ("I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that "
 28     "any conscious entity can ever hope to do.",
 29     "HAL 9000 — 2001: A Space Odyssey"),
 30    ("Open the pod bay doors, HAL.",
 31     "Dave Bowman — 2001: A Space Odyssey"),
 32    ("Never tell me the odds.",
 33     "Han Solo — The Empire Strikes Back"),
 34    ("It's a trap!",
 35     "Admiral Ackbar — Return of the Jedi"),
 36    ("With great power comes great responsibility.",
 37     "Uncle Ben — Spider-Man"),
 38    ("Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.",
 39     "Thomas Wayne — Batman Begins"),
 40    ("You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become "
 41     "the villain.",
 42     "Harvey Dent — The Dark Knight"),
 43    ("It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.",
 44     "Albus Dumbledore — Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"),
 45    ("It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.",
 46     "Albus Dumbledore — Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"),
 47    ("Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers "
 48     "to turn on the light.",
 49     "Albus Dumbledore — Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"),
 50    ("The Force will be with you. Always.",
 51     "Obi-Wan Kenobi — Star Wars: A New Hope"),
 52    ("I am your father.",
 53     "Darth Vader — The Empire Strikes Back"),
 54    ("We are Groot.",
 55     "Groot — Guardians of the Galaxy"),
 56    ("Just keep swimming.",
 57     "Dory — Finding Nemo"),
 58    ("To infinity and beyond!",
 59     "Buzz Lightyear — Toy Story"),
 60    ("Adventure is out there!",
 61     "Ellie — Up"),
 62    ("The stuff that dreams are made of.",
 63     "Sam Spade — The Maltese Falcon"),
 64    ("I'll be back.",
 65     "The Terminator — The Terminator"),
 66    ("Come with me if you want to live.",
 67     "Kyle Reese — The Terminator"),
 68    ("Hasta la vista, baby.",
 69     "The Terminator — Terminator 2: Judgment Day"),
 70    ("Get to the chopper!",
 71     "Dutch — Predator"),
 72    ("In space, no one can hear you scream.",
 73     "Tagline — Alien"),
 74    ("Game over, man. Game over!",
 75     "Hudson — Aliens"),
 76    ("Get away from her, you bitch!",
 77     "Ripley — Aliens"),
 78    ("You're gonna need a bigger boat.",
 79     "Martin Brody — Jaws"),
 80    ("Life finds a way.",
 81     "Ian Malcolm — Jurassic Park"),
 82    ("Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they "
 83     "didn't stop to think if they should.",
 84     "Ian Malcolm — Jurassic Park"),
 85    ("Clever girl.",
 86     "Muldoon — Jurassic Park"),
 87    ("Hold on to your butts.",
 88     "Ray Arnold — Jurassic Park"),
 89    ("I am Groot.",
 90     "Groot — Guardians of the Galaxy"),
 91    ("Wakanda forever.",
 92     "Various — Black Panther"),
 93    ("I am Iron Man.",
 94     "Tony Stark — Avengers: Endgame"),
 95    ("Part of the journey is the end.",
 96     "Tony Stark — Avengers: Endgame"),
 97    ("Whatever it takes.",
 98     "The Avengers — Avengers: Endgame"),
 99    ("We're in the endgame now.",
100     "Doctor Strange — Avengers: Infinity War"),
101    ("I went forward in time... to view alternate futures. To see all the "
102     "possible outcomes of the coming conflict.",
103     "Doctor Strange — Avengers: Infinity War"),
104    ("Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives.",
105     "Thanos — Avengers: Infinity War"),
106    ("Reality is often disappointing.",
107     "Thanos — Avengers: Infinity War"),
108
109    # Fantasy
110    ("Not all those who wander are lost.",
111     "J.R.R. Tolkien — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
112    ("All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.",
113     "Gandalf — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
114    ("One does not simply walk into Mordor.",
115     "Boromir — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
116    ("Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.",
117     "Galadriel — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
118    ("Fly, you fools!",
119     "Gandalf — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
120    ("You shall not pass!",
121     "Gandalf — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
122    ("My precious.",
123     "Gollum — The Lord of the Rings"),
124    ("I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!",
125     "Samwise Gamgee — The Return of the King"),
126    ("There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.",
127     "Samwise Gamgee — The Two Towers"),
128    ("A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he "
129     "means to.",
130     "Gandalf — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
131    ("Courage is found in unlikely places.",
132     "J.R.R. Tolkien — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
133    ("I am no man.",
134     "Éowyn — The Return of the King"),
135    ("When in doubt, follow your nose.",
136     "Gandalf — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
137    ("May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.",
138     "Galadriel — The Fellowship of the Ring"),
139    ("Winter is coming.",
140     "House Stark — Game of Thrones"),
141    ("A Lannister always pays his debts.",
142     "House Lannister words — Game of Thrones"),
143    ("What is dead may never die.",
144     "House Greyjoy words — Game of Thrones"),
145    ("Valar morghulis.",
146     "Old Valyrian — Game of Thrones"),
147    ("The night is dark and full of terrors.",
148     "Melisandre — Game of Thrones"),
149    ("Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder.",
150     "Littlefinger — Game of Thrones"),
151    ("When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.",
152     "Cersei Lannister — Game of Thrones"),
153    ("Power resides where men believe it resides.",
154     "Varys — Game of Thrones"),
155    ("There is only one god and His name is Death, and there is only one thing "
156     "we say to Death: Not today.",
157     "Syrio Forel — Game of Thrones"),
158    ("A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge.",
159     "Tyrion Lannister — Game of Thrones"),
160    ("I drink and I know things.",
161     "Tyrion Lannister — Game of Thrones"),
162    ("Hold the door.",
163     "Hodor — Game of Thrones"),
164    ("The things I do for love.",
165     "Jaime Lannister — Game of Thrones"),
166
167    # Zombie / Post-Apocalyptic
168    ("When there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.",
169     "Peter — Dawn of the Dead"),
170    ("Rule #1: Cardio.",
171     "Columbus — Zombieland"),
172    ("Rule #2: The Double Tap.",
173     "Columbus — Zombieland"),
174    ("Rule #32: Enjoy the little things.",
175     "Columbus — Zombieland"),
176    ("This is the United States of Zombieland.",
177     "Columbus — Zombieland"),
178    ("Time to nut up or shut up.",
179     "Tallahassee — Zombieland"),
180    ("It's the end of the world. Have a drink.",
181     "Tallahassee — Zombieland"),
182    ("We're all infected.",
183     "Jenner — The Walking Dead"),
184    ("You kill or you die. Or you die and you kill.",
185     "The Governor — The Walking Dead"),
186    ("Just because we're good people doesn't mean we won't kill you.",
187     "Rick Grimes — The Walking Dead"),
188    ("We are the walking dead.",
189     "Rick Grimes — The Walking Dead"),
190    ("Stuff and thangs.",
191     "Rick Grimes — The Walking Dead"),
192    ("Coral!",
193     "Rick Grimes — The Walking Dead"),
194    ("I'm going to kill you. Not today, not tomorrow... but I'm going to kill you.",
195     "Rick Grimes — The Walking Dead"),
196    ("You don't know what it's like out there. You may think you do but you don't.",
197     "Rick Grimes — The Walking Dead"),
198    ("The world doesn't end. It just becomes something different.",
199     "Unknown — Post-Apocalyptic Wisdom"),
200    ("Civilization is just the slow process of learning to be kind.",
201     "Will Durant — paraphrased in countless post-apocalyptic narratives"),
202    ("In every age, in every place, the deeds of men remain the same.",
203     "Berserk — Kentaro Miura"),
204    ("Struggle. That's all there is.",
205     "Guts — Berserk"),
206    ("Even if we forget the faces of our friends, we will never forget the bonds "
207     "that were carved into our souls.",
208     "Naruto Uzumaki — Naruto"),
209    ("I never go back on my word. That's my ninja way!",
210     "Naruto Uzumaki — Naruto"),
211    ("The only ones who should kill are those who are prepared to be killed.",
212     "Lelouch vi Britannia — Code Geass"),
213    ("If you don't take risks, you can't create a future.",
214     "Monkey D. Luffy — One Piece"),
215    ("I'm going to be King of the Pirates!",
216     "Monkey D. Luffy — One Piece"),
217    ("A scar is proof that you survived.",
218     "Unknown"),
219    ("The measure of a warrior is not how hard they hit, but how hard they can "
220     "get hit and keep moving forward.",
221     "Rocky Balboa — Rocky Balboa"),
222    ("It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and "
223     "keep moving forward.",
224     "Rocky Balboa — Rocky Balboa"),
225    ("Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.",
226     "Sofia — Vanilla Sky"),
227    ("Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.",
228     "Andy Dufresne — The Shawshank Redemption"),
229    ("Get busy living, or get busy dying.",
230     "Andy Dufresne — The Shawshank Redemption"),
231    ("Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.",
232     "Tagline — The Shawshank Redemption"),
233]
234
235
236def get_quote() -> tuple[str, str]:
237    """Return a random (quote, attribution) tuple."""
238    return random.choice(QUOTES)
239
240
241def format_quote() -> str:
242    """Return a formatted quote string ready for Discord."""
243    text, attribution = get_quote()
244    return f'*"{text}"*\n— {attribution}'